how does one become successful?


“Not to know is bad, not to want to know is worse.”

Everyone wants to be successful. The desire for success is what drives us all. It is the reason that you have invested time and money into getting your degree or why you dropped out of University to start your own thing. It is why you are staying in that job, slogging from nine to eleven, waiting on a promotion. It is why you are catching the bus today until you save enough to put down a deposit on your house one day. 

But many of us do not how to get to where we need to be, we are bumbling along haphazardly, hoping that we will stumble upon success.

My friend Ziyanda asked me the other day: how does one become successful? And I thought it was a question that I needed to ask here. But before we get into the how, perhaps we should ask what.

What does success mean to you?

Last week I had the privilege of participating in a personal transformation seminar hosted by a life coach named Zwelibanzi Ndlovu. He uses the formula STOP as a framework for goal setting. The letters stand for Source, Target, Obstacles and Plan. This is a breakdown of the questions that you need to ask when you set goals.

S ource : Where am I today?
T arget : Where do I want to be?
O bstacles : What stands in the way of getting to where I want to be?
P lan : What steps do I need to take to overcome the obstacles and go from where I am to where I want to be?

Your turn

Take ten minutes right now and jot down a few notes under each point. Notice that the first half of STOP helps you answer the question: what does success mean to me? Your Target is your idea of success.

The second half answers the how to be successful. It identifies what stands between you and your target and outlines specific steps that you need to take.

Answer each question and apply these to different areas of your life, depending on what stage you are at: your personal and working relationships, your money, your career, your spiritual life. Ndlovu provides ten categories but there is no closed list.

If we are going to be successful we need to plan towards it. Success does not just happen by fluke.

Share your answers in the comments section and let’s start a conversation about success. Did you find this helpful or unhelpful? Do you have any wisdom to share on the topic?

Honey Love, Shula xoxo

To contact Shula, email


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