“He who conceals his disease cannot expect to be cured.”
This is Mukoko ‘s first post about sexuality and, to begin with, we’ll need to go way back. This might be hard for some of us because childhood sexual abuse is not just a topic of discussion, but a personal experience. And maybe something that you hate thinking about. That may even be true for someone who has never experienced it themselves but is close to someone who has.
Don’t stop reading now.
Don’t stop reading because this issue is important. Make a decision that you’re going to engage with what’s being said here today. Look out for the questions that you can respond to at the end.
Our little secret
When I was a little girl I was terrible at keeping secrets. I just could not keep my mouth shut about anything and my older sister hated it! I was always running and “telling on” her to mommy.
When did you first learn to keep secrets?
Many of us have secrets in our hearts that we have kept for years. Stuff that even those closest to us do not know. An 80 year old woman who has never told anyone about what her uncle did when she was just 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 years old. Before he moved away. He would slither in, whisper to her in his raspy voice, and slither out again.
It was their little secret, he hissed, she dare not tell anyone else.
At some point in our childhoods we learned that some things should be concealed or hidden from others, especially bad things. We learned that certain truths can get people hurt.
“If you tell anyone what happened here, you’ll go to jail forever/ your mom and dad will die.” Back then we kept secrets because we had a distorted view of things, not old enough to reason. Feeling some kind of responsibility for what was happening.
That was us as children.
Why do we continue to keep these secrets in our adulthood, years later, sometimes even long after the abuser has died?
Many of us reading this right now (most of us in our twenties and thirties) had a sexual encounter in our childhood that we have never told anyone about. Or one that was discovered and then quickly swept under the carpet and never raised again. Why?
Let the little children come to Me.
Read Luke 2. A newborn baby in a manger. God incarnate in a teeny-weeny bundle – what a powerful mystery Christmas presents! God works in mysterious ways. We may never comprehend the deep meaning of Christmas in the eternal sense but today we know this: Jesus the Christ is not distant or uncaring. He knows what it is to have the mind of a child – vulnerable and dependent.
He knows our secrets and our reasons. And he cares.
Given the prevalence of sexual abuse of children, why do you think there is still so much secrecy and silence about it in our homes?
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