Between a Rock and a Faithless Place

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This week’s devotion
By Relebone Myambo

“For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. – 1 Corinthians 2:16 (ESV)

About a month ago I witnessed an attempted murder. Okay so that’s a little dramatic. What I really saw was mob justice – about a dozen people pulling apart a guy’s shirt, stabbing him with whatever objects they had at the ready.

I found myself frustrated afterwards: questioning God, raging: Why does God let people live in such a way that they feel like they can’t trust the authorities/ the government/ Him? Where is God when people want justice? Where is God when people are living in poverty?

I saw an advert on TV the other day for a documentary where someone was asking something to the effect of, ‘Is it God punishing me, or is this a result of the devil’s work?’ For most people living, there are moments of desperation and intense battling with God. And for many of those people who ask difficult questions about life and God, guilt follows in waves.

For the most part, we cannot escape uncomfortable situations where our love for and understanding about God is shaken by what we see around us, or even what is going on within us. There will probably be days when we feel like God is unfair, God is sleeping, God is uninterested, God is cruel, etc, etc.

Genesis 32 tells the story of Jacob as he wrestled with God until dawn. It says that the tussle between them was so hectic that God touched Jacob’s hip socket to calm him down, but Jacob was relentless. Eventually the tussle ended and each went his way. Jacob walked away with a new name, ‘Israel’ (‘God-wrestler’). God gave him
this because he “wrestled with God and he came through”,(paraphrased v28,MSG). In raging against God, are we ‘beating Him down’ to a pulp, or are we in a two-way tussle? The results of each will be very different, you see.

I hope you know that God is not scared of a little wrestling match. It’s not the first time He’s been asked hard questions and it won’t be the last.

Questioning God does not make us faithless. Realising this freed me.

It made me see that there is room in my walk with God for learning, understanding, and even stumbling. But even in my questioning I must be honest with myself, and ask God for understanding as well as healing, because some of my questions come from a place of confusion and pain.

Living with our eyes wide open, observing the state of the world, seeking understanding is great. But in our search for knowledge, let us seek wisdom also. Let us remember that we have the mind of Christ – the understanding, thoughts, purposes, feelings of His heart and mind – and let us engage Him in our search for answers.

I now know what to do when I am stuck in between a rock and a faithless place: I go to the Rock.

Prayer:

Thank You God, that I can trust you with my heart as well as my mind. Thank You that You are willing to engage with me when I have questions, and that you understand where they come from as well as how to answer them. Help me to approach You, You the Truth, the Living Word; when I am conflicted about my faith, when I have questions, when I am raging. Help me to trust You. In Your Name I ask this. Amen.”

Relebone Rirhandzu Myambo, otherwise known as Bonnie, Dusty Soul, God’s Baby Girl, The Black Feather, Ranz, Rhandzu, etc, etc; is a small town girl getting lost in the big city. When she’s not trolling Joburg for vintage + antiquarian book stores, she’s reading, writing, spending time with family and friends, and finding her way home. She also has too many pseudonyms for her own good. #GodDontMind #SpoiltByGrace.

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3 thoughts on “Between a Rock and a Faithless Place

  1. I love this piece, and thank you for introducing e to your friend, on a more serious note, Im finding it in my heart to forgive you for getting me addicted to yet another great read. Anyway let me get back to why I like this piece: It’s apt. I also love a fight from time to time and I’m glad because as you put it, God does not mind it. Is He not the one who actually invites us to come and have it out with Him when He says come let us reason together…thank you again for a brilliant read

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