Dear you :: for women who struggle with insecurity.


This letter is addressed to you, a woman who struggles with insecurity. These words are honest and truthful. I pray that you’d hear the voice of the Father speaking truth into your heart.

Dear you

I had these words to say to you for a while and I don’t want to wait until I see you again to tell you. So I have decided to write this letter.

You are such an amazing woman, but you do not see it. Or maybe you do see it but your fear holds you back from living out the fullness of who you are. What people think of you really matters to you and you are constantly asking yourself : What will ______ say? You are never fully sure of yourself, always needing someone to approve of you, to affirm your choices.

But you do not have to spend your life seeking the affirmation of that person.

I know you have a hectic fear of the unknown and a fear of failure. You do not trust yourself. You are afraid to venture out on your own because you are not sure that you are strong enough to handle the pressure. You always settle for less and would rather be on the safe side.

But you do not have to be afraid:

“[Cast] the whole of your care on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” 1 Peter 5:7

I guess what I want to tell you today is: the Lord wants to be the source of your strength and if you let him, he will give you the strength to face anything at all – the good, the bad and the ugly.

“Ugly”, someone called you that when you were younger, right? It must have cut you really deep because I don’t think you ever got over it. You never measure up in your own eyes, those beautiful eyes that you hide because you are always looking down. I have seen you going through those magazines, envying the bodies of the godesses of our time – mythical creatures. Lies. I have heard the ‘funny’ jokes you make about your thighs and calves and stretch marks, repeating the insults.The lies. The thing is, I wish you knew just how captivating you are, how those things you hate are what make you beautifully unique. There are women out there who would pay big bucks for your lips and that butt- it’s true! But more than that, I wish you knew that what makes you timelessly beautiful is not your body or what you add to it but you are beautiful because of your heart (1 Peter 3:3-4).

You do not have to spend your life trying to live up to the world’s false standard of beauty.

There is a tenderness with which you hold those you love. Sure, you have a tough exterior but you are such a softie! Your love is quiet because it is often unspoken but your actions shout really loudly. There can never be a more beautiful you because there is only one you.

I know one of your reflexes is comparison, you constantly compare yourself to this, that and the other person. You cannot help it. You have an unspoken points system – you are always either better than or not good enough. You have dreams but you are too afraid to dream big – again, you settle. You second guess yourself, you aim low. But you are so gifted!

Don’t despise what God has placed in you, it is special and important :

“For we are God’s own handiwork (His workmanship), recreated in Christ Jesus that we may do those good works which God predestined for us, that we would walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

The gifts that you bring are not insignificant but the very tools that God will use for His purposes. You say that you like being in the background and that is cool, but the day will come when you need to step up and be seen. Yes, to stand up and shine!

You are a strong, beautiful and gifted and you need to remind yourself every day, every hour if you have to. You will face situations that will make you doubt this but you need to fight to believe the truth about who you are. When things get tough, remember this:

“Put on God’s whole armour, that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and deceits of the devil.” Ephesians 6:10

Be secure in who God is and who He says you are.

Honey love,
Shula xoxo


3 thoughts on “Dear you :: for women who struggle with insecurity.

  1. Hi Thande and Fadzi!

    Thank you! This is a collection of words people have spoken to me at different times in my life when I was struggling. I still have to remind myself! I’m so glad that these words spoke to you! xx


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