The Seduction of Inadequacy

There are two kinds of people in the world: people who live from a place of adequacy and people who live from a place of inadequacy. Most of us fall into the second category.

When you’re living from a place of inadequacy you don’t define yourself according to who you are. It’s always about who you’re not. You’re constantly comparing yourself to other people. You struggle to receive love or affection. You can’t accept praise for a job well done.

You’re never enough. You’re never good enough, never smart enough, never beautiful enough:

"My complexion had always been an
obstacle to overcome and all of a sudden, Oprah was telling me it wasn’t. It was perplexing and I wanted to reject it because I had begun to enjoy the seduction of inadequacy."

LupitaNyong’o

The seduction of inadequacy. Believe it or not, some of the most over-achieving people in the world are driven by the seduction of inadequacy. Because as long as you feel inadequate then you always have a problem to solve and that problem is you. It’s the problem that motivates them to reach higher, acquire more and do better.

The seduction of inadequacy leads to an obsession with perfection. For Lupita, a dark skinned girl, perfection meant light skin. That’s what she aimed to achieve using skin lightening creams and make up. Like a lot of us, she was led to believe that to be exceptional or even just acceptable, you must be something other who you already are.

So even when she was confronted with the truth, Black is beautiful; you are beautiful, it was a truth she rejected because she had bought into the lie that she wasn’t enough. She even enjoyed living from a place of inadequacy.

When you’re living from a place of inadequacy you can never be truly happy. No heights of achievement, no amount of money can ever be enough to satisfy you. Your house is full but your heart is empty.

Today I looked at myself and said, Self (my self said, Yeah?), What you’re looking at is all you’ve got and it’s all you need. You are enough.

I dare you to do the same! You were created to live from a place of adequacy. That begins with accepting yourself as you are – unique, gifted, beautiful.

Honey love
Shulaxoxo

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