There are three kinds of lies: lies that other people tell; lies that we tell other people; and lies that we tell ourselves. I believe that the third kind of lie is the most dangerous because it comes from the heart and therefore affects how we live our lives.
Which of these lies are you needing freedom from?
1 When I find him I will finally feel whole.
This is said by a needy woman who is looking for a man to fill her up. I’d hate to be the man in this situation- it’s too much pressure! The desire for wholeness is good but the source she’s going to is all wrong. The truth is that she will never feel whole until she allows God to fill the God shaped hole in her heart.
2 When I have a baby I will have a purpose.
I’ve heard Beyoncé and Drew Barrymore say that having their daughters gave them a sense of purpose that they felt was missing all of their lives. On the one hand, I believe that being a mother can give a woman a sense of significance that wouldn’t be there otherwise, but that’s only part of the story. For a mother, mothering is a part of her purpose in life but one day her baby will be a grown woman who will leave her. What happens to her purpose then?
3 Marriage doesn’t work.
Our generation grew up in broken homes where adultery and divorce are the norm. We want to be in a lifelong relationship with someone but we’ve lost our faith in marriage. The truth is that marriage does work, but it’s hard work. Marriages that work are the fruit of people who are willing to work it out when things get tough and trust God to give them the grace to do so.
4 I have committed the unforgivable sin. I think every person has told themselves this at some point in time. The result of this lie is that we leave in condemnation, punishing ourselves for the horrible thing that we did. Here’s the truth. Even if what you did was terrible and deliberate, God wants to forgive you. He made the first move by sacrificing Himself so that you could be forgiven.
5 I am just like my mother/father.
This is a lie that takes root when someone close to you says it to you over and over again, “You’re just like your mother, and you’re useless. You will never amount to anything.” And when you look in the mirror it confirms it because you look just like her. The truth is you may have your mother’s DNA but you have a different identity. You have a chance to make different choices.
6 He is my soul mate.
One of the biggest obstacles between you and finding love is that ‘love of your life’ that no man can ever live up to. In your mind he’s The One and you can never love anyone like you loved him. The only problem is… He’s married. The truth is that he’s someone else’s soul mate, the person he’s with, so cut him loose. Your soul mate is that person that you choose to commit to for life.
7 I can never forgive [insert name of offender].
When you harbour unforgiveness it’s like administering a lethal injection into your own veins or sentencing yourself to a term of life imprisonment. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die; forgiveness is like releasing a prisoner and discovering
that that prisoner is you.
8 What happened to me was my fault.
This is one of the most destructive lies ever told. Women do this all the time. Her boyfriend hits her and she thinks that if she didn’t provoke him he wouldn’t get so angry. She is sexually assaulted and she thinks that if she wasn’t so tempting it wouldn’t have happened. The truth is that you shouldn’t take responsibility for something that was done to you; it’s not your fault.
9 It’s just sex.
You’d think that by now we would have graduated from this lie but it’s something that many of us still believe. There is no such thing as ‘no strings attached’, the strings are there! The truth is that sex is very powerful and it bonds you to a person like nothing else can.
10 God doesn’t care.
You believe that God doesn’t exist and if he does then he forgot about you a long time ago. This is a lie that takes root when we’ve been through really tough experiences shook our trust in God. But God still cares and He loves you enough to keep you alive and breathing. If he didn’t then he would have turned off your life support machine a long time ago.
All lies have the potential to become self-fulfilling prophecies when we internalise them. Which one of these have you told yourself?