This Is How A Woman Should Be Loved

Take the risk.

Show me your cards. Don’t keep them close to your chest because you’re afraid of what I might say or think. Tell me what’s on your mind and where you’re going with things. I want to know. I want to know your plans and your intentions. I want to know your truth. I want to know you and not the poker-faced version of you that you hide behind.

Lay them on the table. Don’t try to bluff your way through this cause you think I might hurt you. Tell me I’m the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning and the last word spoken in your nighttime prayers. Be honest about how my strength scares you a little and makes you want to be a better man. Talk about how I’m nothing like you expected and everything that you ever hoped I’d be.

Go all-in. Decide that I’m worth whatever it’ll cost you. Love me anew every morning. Even when I’m mean. Even when I’m lazy. Even if it was me who farted but I’d rather deflect by talking about how TV programming isn’t getting any better and maybe we should get Netflix. Choose me anyway. Commit to me everything that you are and everything that you will be. Have faith in the woman that I am becoming and trust me to believe in the man God made you to be.

Trust me with your weaknesses and failings and I will trust you with mine. Please. Don’t lie to me. Come to me when you feel ashamed. When I go astray, find me again. When I run and hide cause I’m afraid, count to ten and go seek. Search me out, study my mind and pursue my heart. Think of me less as a problem to solve and more like a mystery waiting to be discovered.

Let me see your pain. Uncover those wounds that still sting when touched and those that have hardened into scars. Give me your joyful memories. I want to see that you’re a man who bleeds when pricked, laughs when tickled and cries because even Jesus wept. Show me that your heart breaks for the broken and that you can carry the burdens of others. Let me catch your tears with my hands, let me in, let me hold you.

Hold me. Gently. Know your strength and use it for and not against me. Build me up with words that will fortify my soul against a world hellbent on my destruction. Tell me I’m beautiful, even when you think I’ve heard it enough. When my faith grows weak and I forget who I am, remind me. Forgive me when I repent, say sorry and mean it.

Don’t ever let your mind reduce what we could have to a multiple choice option. Don’t passively wait for me to make the first move while you hedge your bets. Show me your hand and give me the chance to show mine. Or not to. Know what you want and go for it. I’m not saying be perfect, I’m saying be powerful. I’m saying love me with a love that is secure and suffers long and suffers first.

Take the risk.

Show me your cards.

Zola Ndlovu writes to encourage people to live every day intentionally. Get more of her writing when you subscribe by clicking here.

4 thoughts on “This Is How A Woman Should Be Loved

  1. Love, love, love, love it!! Am going to memorize it….and someday, someplace when am brave and confident enough…..I will recite it as a poem!….to a crowd☺️


    1. Hi Pinks, that would be cool! Even better than memorising it, perhaps you could one day be brave and confident enough to communicate this to a man who wants to know how to love you :)


    2. love this Zola! incredible writing, tugs at my heart strings!!! I am so tempted to share this with male friends!! this is beautiful :)


  2. Yes! I am showing this to my fiance… through five/six years of a relationship i still feel like the both of us homd back in fear…amd thats shouldnt be! This is perfect!


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