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Every person has been in that awkward position where you really dig someone but you can’t tell them. Maybe you can’t tell him because you think that he should make the first move. Maybe you don’t have the courage to face possible rejection. Or maybe it’s just as simple as you not being able to say it with words.
So instead, you show them. If you find yourself in that position right now, I’ve compiled a list of actions you can take to make it obvious that you like a person (without saying the actual words), my gift to you:
#1 Stare at them intently from across the room until they feel compelled to talk to you.
This is the “I’ve got my eye on you.” manoeuvre. It works best when you’re in an enclosed space – think lecture theatre, classroom or the dancefloor.
#2 Buy a puppy and then tell them that you hope you can raise it together.
Here’s a non-threatening way of saying that you think your crush would make a good parent to your children, they’ll get the message.
#3 Send their mother a Facebook friend request.
Mothers never reject friend requests; it’s in the Mother Code. Once you’ve been accepted, be sure to interact with her obsessively (like, comment and write on her timeline!).
#4 Bake them something.
This shows that you’re willing to invest time, money and effort into a relationship with them.
#5 Befriend your crush’s housemates so that you can show up to their house unannounced.
#6 And then clean their room while your crush is away and leave sweet love notes in discreet places.
#7 If you have the time, cook one week’s worth of meals and store them in the freezer to be eaten later.
#8 Send them emails with links to your favourite articles about relationships and dating.
Admittedly, I like this one because it also serves the purpose of educating your crush about what you know. You can show your crush you like them and provide some training for the future too.
#9 Invite them to church.
If you’ve been wondering how to get your friends to meet and approve/ disapprove of your crush then what better place to do that than church. Pro tip : just tell them an approximate location and time and don’t disclose that it’s actually church.
#10 Offer to mend their socks.
I love socks and some of my favourite socks are holey. Mend your crush’s the socks by embroidering little red hearts. Whether this one works or not, you’ll be doing mankind a great service.
#11 Take a walk with them when it’s freezing so that they can offer you their hoodie.
The only way that this can actually work is if they’re wearing a hoodie and you’re wearing just a blouse or shirt when you head out. Men should try this too.
#12 Buy them a Bible and leather-bound journal.
This shows that you care about the spiritual wellbeing of your potential future spouse. Don’t go cheap on the Bible and journal, make sure your crush knows that this is not just a friendly gesture.
#13 Find out what their favourite book is, buy it and share pictures where the book is clearly visible but don’t draw attention to it.
#14 Add them to your will and then get your lawyer to contact them about it.
There is no better way to say, ‘I see you in my future’. If you’re worried that your crush is financially irresponsible, add some conditions (talk to me, I’m a lawyer).
#15 Catch the bouquet at a wedding, upload the photo on Instagram and tag him.
Make social media work for you girl! Remind him that you’re available.
#16 Become ridiculously flustered when talking to them, play with your hair, hyperventilate, run away.
Body language experts say this works.
#17 Avoid eye contact and giggle like a silly person.
Use this as an alternative to #16.
#18 Write a song about them (with his name in it) and then post it on YouTube.
The classic Taylor Swift move. If your gifts are musical then turn the charm on by writing a song about your crush and putting it out in the public domain.
#19 Gather as much information as possible and then forget to pretend that you shouldn’t know certain things.
Google makes this so easy. You don’t even need to hire a private investigator any more.
#20 Go in for a hug when they’re offering a handshake.
Use this one in combination with #17.
#21 Go in for a kiss when they’re expecting a hug.
Approach with caution, you’re about to reach the point of no return.
#22 Invite them for your family Christmas holiday.
If this one doesn’t get through to your crush, then nothing will.
#23 Forget to remember that even though you’ve been stalking your crush for months, this is the first you’ve met.
There’s a big risk that your crush could apply for an interdict/ restraining order against you. Totally worth it.
#24 Say, “You complete me.” and then play a video of your friendship over the years.
This Jerry Maguire line is perfect for anyone who wants to say something but doesn’t want to come right out and say, “I like you so much my heart aches when I think about it!”
#25 Use them as an example of what you want in a spouse.
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